White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
