but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
