I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
