I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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