she was so not down for the gang bang
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
