she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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