allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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