I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
