He had one of those small greek statue penises
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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