My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
