You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
