you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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