I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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