I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
