New invention idea: vibrating tampons
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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