I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
