I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
