NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
