Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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