did you get engaged???
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
