i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
