Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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