I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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