Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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