I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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