Don't you send me to vm
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
