Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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