Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
