I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
