batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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