It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
