what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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