Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
