i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
