Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
two words...techno handjob
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
