Sponge bath it is.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
