you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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