the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
