How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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