This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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