well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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