well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
