you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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