We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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