This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
