so explain again why im purple
no
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
