I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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