the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
