do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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