Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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